Article submitted by Rebecca Sharp Colmer: Eldercare Advocate, Author, Publisher, Speaker. Find Rebecca’s books online.
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Today's seniors have probably noticed that some of the traditional dating rituals may have changed. Now we have Internet dating, speed dating and lunch dating. Don't worry; romance and chemistry are still the key ingredients.
These days the trend in dating, for older seniors, is geared more toward having fun and companionship, rather than for casual sex or marriage. We have seen a shift in people's habits and beliefs. Current events and changes in technology may require you to update your dating style from years ago.
Here are some tips to help seniors in the dating world:
- A coffee date for the first meeting is a good idea because it keeps the date at an hour or two. Also, these places are usually crowded, well lit, safe and perfect for meeting a stranger. Be practical, not cheap.
- Cast a wide net.
- Never give out personal financial details to anyone you have just met.
- Trust your own instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own protection and safety.
- Watch for red flags. Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate red flags.
- Good conversation starters: Comment on his/her hobbies and interests. If yo have children you will never run out of stories. Ask him/her about their favorite restaurant, recipe, or food.
- 35% of women prefer to date younger men.
- It's okay to have dating as a lifestyle. Maybe you have spent the good part of your life with a partner, and you want to live the rest of it as a single person. That's fine, just be up front with your date that you are not trying to find another partner.
- Good hygiene can mean the difference between a polite pat on the back and a night of love. Always take a bath or shower before your outing.
- The power of a smile should never be underestimated. Use your smile as a secret weapon.
- Do not approach or try to meet someone at any of the following places: a funeral, a crowded elevator, a dark alley, the XXX aisle of a video store.
- If your date is going well, mention date number two before date number one is over.
- Don't get stuck living in the past. Live in the present. Unload your baggage before you start dating.
- You are never too old to be at risk for HIV. In fact, the fastest growing AIDS rates are among people 50 and older.
- Even if you don't like your date, do not give him/her a hard time. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
- Intimate behavior repeated over and over with the same person leads to attachment, regardless of the suitability of the person.
- To show your date that you are interested, speed up or slow down your speech to match his/hers.
- Remember, dating as a senior is much easier than dating as a teenager. You have much better social skills now. Get connected with other people who are in your situation.
- Be honest about what you are looking for from dating. Let your expectations work for you and not against you.
- Don't confuse sexual attraction with emotional bonding.
Dating is fun at any age. The time to start dating is right now. So, stick out your hand, flash them a smile and meet a new friend.
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